


Prologue: Epilogue

by MidLight (TomAyto10)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabbles, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2019-12-30 07:52:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18311366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomAyto10/pseuds/MidLight
Summary: Weekly Eruri Drabbles





	1. Sun-Warmed

The window behind Erwin's desk is an eyesore.   
It's shines too bright in the mid mornings, and makes the room hot and stuffy in the summers.   
Some days, when Levi comes in, Erwin's face is in shadows, hunched over a document, and for a moment he can see how the light bends him forward as if it's become the weight of the world, depending on Erwin to shine.   
On those days, Erwin's tired eyes and shaking hands make Levi's jaw tight with aggression, and the unfairness of the world stings brighter.  
Some days, the sun is kind, lazy in the sky, slowly warming the world like a lover’s embrace.   
Erwin still works at the same frantic pace, but at least the light makes him look regal instead of a lone savior.  
Today, Erwin only looks up at his entrance, gives him a polite hello and then falls back into pace, frowning at papers harder.   
‘It'll make wrinkles on you, you old man’ Levi had said once. Erwin had only touched the line between Levi's eyes, smiled and didn't comment on his hypocrisy.   
Today, the sun is like a caress on Erwin's face and Levi feels stricken. He moves past him, with full intentions of opening the window and letting new fresh air breathe life back into the room, but he glances at Erwin's from the side of his eyes and stops.   
Erwin doesn't, continues to work as Levi eases over to him.   
The back of Erwin's neck looks pink, glowing, highlighting miniscule soft blonde hair until they disappear into white. He doesn't know why he does it, but he's learned long ago that his body always knows better than his mind what he needs to do to survive. He drops his hands on the wide of Erwin's shoulder, dips down and kisses him, right above the collar of his shirt.   
He feels soft, like warmed blankets on a cold morning, or a teacup familiar in his grasp. It's comfort, and warmth   
Levi kisses again, feather light, just barely there pressure, but he notices that Erwin has stilled the movement of his hand, has stiffened under his touch.   
Levi hums against sun-warmed skin, and his smile blossoms over his face at how Erwin's shoulders tremble.   
“Levi.”   
Levi kisses him again, his nose dipping into the sunlit hairs of the nape of his neck.   
“Really damn bright.” he says, a non sequitur. He doesn't explain what he's talking about, the sun that bathes the room with light, or the man that seems to shine brighter and more powerfully in it.   
Erwin's hand comes up to lose itself in Levi's midnight hair, and Levi thinks, how do we look, like light wrapping itself around shadows.   
But then his thoughts dissipate like dew in bright sun when Erwin pulls him forward and when Erwin's mouth is over his.   
He tastes like sunlight on the inside too, like the beams have infiltrated and filled him up.  
Long ago, when the sun was a commodity, Levi would bathe in it, stretch out over grass and relish every minute that light touched his tired body.   
He feels that hunger again.   
But this time, he won't have to slink back into the unforgiving caves.   
Now, he can drown in it.


	2. Storm Study

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is nowhere safer than in the eye of the storm

Erwin is a man of observation.

He deems it the first step in all his plans. He studies the maps, the stretches of road in the Titan infested land, trying to memorize every dip and curve in hope to travel quickly and safely. He studies the monsters themselves, their sluggish movements after rainfall, and their blank vacant expressions that hold so many mysteries. 

 

Most of all he studies people. 

 

It seems callous, at times he even chastises himself for the thought, but he must. He has to know who might freeze in a moment of panic, who listens to their survival instincts instead of their heart, whose utter rage he can use in a certain situation. If he can determine how people might respond, he can fit it into the larger equation where victory and destruction teeter like a coin on its side. Everything matters. 

That is what Erwin blames, when he finds himself watching, studying, Levi. 

It's been many years now, and he has long ago abandoned that excuse. 

He  _ knows _ Levi. Give him a pen and he could write every intricate detail of the man's character, how he would reply to a jest, or how his mouth tightens with worry. Give him charcoal and canvas and he could attempt to makes lines crisscross and dance to collect into a drawing that  wouldn't even be a shadow of comparison to blue steel eyes and dark ink hair, a fruitless attempt. 

He knows Levi. 

Yet Erwin knows, there is so much more. It's enlightenment, it's breathtaking, that he could learn so much and still be at a loss of knowledge. 

So he studies, every day. 

He watches Levi fly through the trees, his heart flying with him in admiration. He stares at the trigger quick movement of his fingers, the grace of his arching back. A white breasted bird with dark feathers and eagle eyes. Levi was born underground, but he has always belonged in the skies.

Erwin watches him, in the candlelight of his office, his lips moving as he reads, looks like he's muttering a silent prayer and Erwin yearns, for his lips, for peace, for eternity. 

He watches him among the corps, how heads incline towards him, how well respect suits him and how fiercely he loves.

It was his downfall, the fact that he studied so much.

To him, Levi is a storm. Pale skin that runs into the darkest of black, like storm clouds, hauntingly beautiful, eyes like the sudden peek of blue sky amongst the tumultuous clouds, rolling, rumbling, waiting. 

Sometimes, Erwin feels overwhelmed by him, has to hold his breath when he sees the storm in Levi brewing, ready to rain down on those who prey on those he cares for. 

Tonight, Levi is brewing, quietly but the flat of his mouth and the slight sharper tilt of his eyebrows tell him that he's not impressed with Erwin's lack of sleep. 

“Have you even taken a shit in the last few days?”

Erwin almost laughs. He would laugh, if not for how he actually has to think of the last time he visited the bathroom. Levi sighs and crosses his arm. It's like a warning thunder. Erwin doesn't want the lightning. 

So Erwin submits, sighs and stands to his shaky feet. Levi is right, he is getting old. 

He follows Levi past his doorway, and into the halls. He doesn't need a guide, but he likes to follow for once, let Levi pave the way. He'll take the helm again when he must. 

As they travel, shadows long and space quiet, Erwin drifts back to what is normal. 

He studies. 

Levi's neck is a stark contrast to the dark of his hair, and the brown of his uniform. Smooth and tempting. Untarnished, and Erwin wants to reach out and place his hand there, touch the bridge between Levi's body and his mind. 

Levi turns to him suddenly, looks over his shoulder, eyebrows slanted tighter. 

“Why are you staring?” 

Erwin's looks at his profile, knows it by heart but it still twist his heart and makes him full with strange hope. He doesn't deny, and he doesn't wonder how Levi knew he was staring. 

“I don't want to lose you in the dark.” he says. He doesn't mean much by it, but every word between them is… important. Significant. 

Levi's eyes widen, but then he's frowning again, clearly showing he's unimpressed. He scoffs and turns back. 

When Erwin settles his gaze over his neck again, the pale is blushed pink. 

He smiles. 

In his room, they undress without words, and then they settle together in the cold sheets of Erwin's large bed. Erwin never feels as tired as when he sinks into the give of his mattress.

Levi turns to him, eyes soft in the moonlight, and pulls Erwin to his chest, until his head is cradled in the gentle powerful arms. 

Levi's heart, a gentle beat like a far off sound of thunder, sounds viciously alive and real.

Erwin feels tension leave his body, like rain water down his back, and when he feels lips on the crown of his head, his body eases to the floods filling in him. 

Sleep pulls at him, and he lets his mind let go, assured, warm and comfortable. 

There is nowhere safer than in the eye of the storm. 


	3. Free Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Free fall.
> 
> It was terrifying, the loss of control, the inability to reorient his being in the empty sky as he fell.
> 
> He never wanted to experience it again.

It happened once before.

The three dimensional gear was still somewhat new, he was still trying to best use it, and as he flew through the dilapidated buildings, old brick gave way and the hook on the wire slipped. 

He remembers his stomach swooping, like his body had suddenly gone lead heavy. Air swept past him like storm winds, muffling sound, deaf to everything but his frantic heartbeat. His arms reached out to the sky, as if the air would suddenly solidify under his searching fingers. 

His mind, a whirlwind of thought and emotions, sharpened then, and he quickly clicked the trigger and pivoted right, crashing into the wall. He had slid down inelegantly, body bruised and pride worse so. Farlan hadn't said anything but amusement was clear on his expression.

Free fall. 

It was terrifying, the loss of control, the inability to reorient his being in the empty sky as he fell. 

He never wanted to experience it again. 

So he perfected his body, practiced until the sky felt more solid than the ground so he'll never have to experience the sensation of his soul trying to leave his body again. 

When it happens again, he's standing in the middle of a decorated hall, drowning in overused colognes and perfumes, tittering laughter and haughty expressions.

He's watching the Commander, only for the reason that he is the most interesting thing in the room. Erwin's been fraternizing for what seems like hours, fluttering about like a bird from one silk adorned arm to another. Levi has watched him smile, and dance and charm all those he's come in contact with and it makes Levi angry for reasons he doesn't want to dissect.

He's about to escape, step out for some fresh air when he looks up to find where Erwin went to when he meets his eye. 

He has a glass in his hand, an elegant curved thing filled with rich red wine, that is coming down from his lips, stained with a blush of red, almost sinful, and his eyes shine brighter than any jewel that hangs heavy from the ears, and wrists and necks of the fat pathetic nobles around them. 

But it is how he looks that catches Levi, freezes  him like prey before a hunter, it's how he changes, so suddenly, so easily that makes something in Levi break. 

Erwin smiles. 

It shouldn't be different, he's seen it at least a couple of dozen times on this night alone, the simple movement of lips curling, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, and how he seems inviting and trustworthy. 

But this is different. Levi isn't a noble, Levi isn't a cash cow that will turn over a couple of spare coins for the cause. There is no reason for Erwin to smile at him from across the crowded room of lords and ladies. 

But he does, and it's real. 

It so filled with warmth that Levi feels his breath catch in his throat. It's ‘ _ im sorry this is taking so long’, _ apologetic. ‘ _ just a little longer’ _ , pleading,  _ thank you for being here, _ grateful, and…

_ Levi _ ...

Fond. 

Levi feels his throat constrict on that stalled breath, his heart leaps, stomach drops. All in a moment, the ground has given way, up and down are no longer where they should be, and his skin prickles with sweat. 

Free fall. 

This is most certainly worse than before. 

He looks away quickly, feels his skin burning hot, like he stepped in front of an open oven, suffocating heat from under his skin. He does flee now, makes his way across the hall and into the shadows of the great pillars that stand. He can feel eyes on him, can feel stares of both the nobility and servers and of course, he can feel Erwin's gaze. 

When he blast through the doors, military police squawking as he thunders by, he takes in a shuddering breath, as if he could cleanse himself of whatever had coated his insides. He feels miserably sick, his heart still clanging in the cage of his ribs, his stomach clenching, and swooping to the rhythm of music he can't hear. 

He stumbles, drunk on hysterical bewilderment, and sits in the steps that lead the the great hall. 

He feels chained.

He feels free.

Levi looks up at the sky and laughs bitterly. 


	4. Petal Soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's unfair, Levi thinks.  
> At the very least, Levi wants to savor the softened edges when they appear and make sure he's strong enough when they do.

Three.  
Petal soft

They don't have time for this, but Levi can't seem to make himself move.   
Its rare that Erwin goes still, all the way to his buzzing bones like he's been shut off except for his stable breath.   
Levi wishes that he sleeps without dreams. Wishes rest for a man that can't seem to ever stop.   
The sun is crawling higher in the sky for every second, and the responsibilities of the day begin to bear down on Levi's naked shoulders.   
But Erwin is so still, rumbling soft, his skin sleep warm and hair tousled. He looks like a strange imitation of the man that stands before the Survey Corps in a salute, hard, and an unrelenting force.   
Now, he is soft, sprawled on the bed, loose-limbed and safe.   
Levi would do anything to keep him this way. 

He has to wake him, and he is surprised that Erwin's damn internal clock hasn't done so already.   
Levi reaches out a hand, ready to shake his shoulder, ready to watch the moment blue eyes open, blurry and childish and see them turn sharp and tired. But as Levi moves, his fingers catch at his skin, slide along the warmth.   
He doesn't indulge often, which is stupid since they live such perilous lives.   
He wants to indulge.   
He swallows building saliva as he leans over and kisses at Erwin's jaw, his lips cooler than the skin of the other's face. He's so warm, the pinprick of unsaved hair makes Levi press harder before he travels up to his ear.   
Erwin is soft in the most secret of places.   
Levi has stumbled upon them, over the years of careful exploration, feels like a pilgrim on new uncharted land. He craves it, to know what no one else knows, a secret he can keep like he does all the rare smiles and laughs.   
He kisses up against an earlobe before he dips down to the slope of his neck, where hair tapers down to his spine.   
Erwin doesn't wake, even when Levi’s hand drifts as if having a mind of its own, to Erwin’s chest. His fingers slide down, all the way to under the impressive slope of muscle. He’s warm here, sensitive and Levi sweeps fingertips up and down.   
He’s kissed him here, watched Erwin coil under the movement of his mouth. He’s kissed other places too, the hollow of his elbow, the inside of his knees, the line of his hips and the dip at the end of his spine.   
Levi rises up, watches his face. Peace. Dreamless sleep. His eyelashes flutter, and Levi bends to kiss his closed eyes.   
He presses too hard, lost for a moment because Erwin sighs out, and then Levi is wrapped up in arms, suddenly pressure all around him.   
“Good Morning.”   
Erwin's voice is hushed and as warm as the arms holding him.   
Levi snorts, disgruntled. “‘bout damn time,” he says, even though he's melting as Erwin's hand caresses down his back.  
Erwin leans away, and Levi feels his breath catch. This is where Erwin is softest.  
When his eyes go soft and wide with wonder. It's only at him, Levi has jealousy checked, and it makes him feel like his heart is in freefall.   
“Okay.” Erwin breathes and kisses his cheek. Then he starts to shift to get out of bed.   
Levi grumbles and rolls over, watching Erwin rise out of the sheets like a dawning sun.   
Erwin will harden during the day, will have to bottle up his entire soul and bite down his emotions in order to lead in this bitter world.   
It's unfair, Levi thinks.  
At the very least, Levi wants to savor the softened edges when they appear and make sure he's strong enough when they do.


	5. Mountian Top

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi pressed in suddenly, seeking.

Huddled like this was when Levi felt the closest to tasting what life would be like without walls and titans. Erwin glowed in the morning light, soon the waking bells would ring and the world would return to the desolate hopeless place that swallowed all in its dark grasp. 

But for now, Levi watched as the sun shone on Erwin’s pale skin, the light rising over the slope of his back like a sunrise over the mountain. 

He might be a mountain, solid and eternal, grand and unmovable. Levi reached out and traced the dip of his spine, like a smooth river and over the wings of his shoulder blades; like boulders,  and then up to his neck where the foliage of his yellow hair met the landscape of back.

Beautiful. 

There were scars too, wounds that dug and bit into the skin, the permanent bruises where their harness made their mark, always reminding that the world needed them, flesh and heart and soul. Levi liked this too. No mountain was untouched by the world, but felt it’s storms, and stood firm in its howling winds and flooding rains, sheltering all who seek it.  

Levi pressed in suddenly, seeking. 

Erwin rumbled, thunder in Levi’s bones. Levi didn’t touch often, didn’t cling and didn’t need, but now he wanted, he climbed, up and over and then Erwin’s face filled his vision. The clear blue sky of a mountain crest, sudden satisfaction after trekking so far and so high. 

Erwin’s eyes cleared as he awoke, and when he caught Levi’s face, frowning and pinched at how much something in him raged and felt, he smiled. 

Levi had never seen a mountain, never seen tremendous waterfalls or giant rocks reaching out like trees stretching to the sky, but when Erwin showed him in his forbidden books, traced the outline of ridges, of the sun being eaten by rock and the view when reaching the crest, he didn’t feel awed. Didn’t feel the way Erwin did, didn’t long to see the world from so high up. 

He already knew very well what that was like. 


End file.
